my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
