Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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