i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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