Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
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