is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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