she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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