Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
