She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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