I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
