I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize