I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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