i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
zippers are such a cool invention
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
