we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
