absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
