matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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