3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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