Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize