We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
