oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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