So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
