I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
