I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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