chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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