Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
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Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
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I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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