if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
