R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
high people should be assigned attendants
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
