I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
