I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
