if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
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Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
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