It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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