everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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