I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
