Plan B is the new Plan A
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
