So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
