I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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