i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
