i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
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