I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
