Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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