I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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