it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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