i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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