I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
