Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
