Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
