Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
