So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
