ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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