I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
