just survived the first fart of the relationship.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
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his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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