I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
