Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
