WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
