Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
