Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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