she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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