I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
