apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
