thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
As shirtless as possible
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
