Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
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it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
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And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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