Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
