i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
