i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
