I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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