I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm having to shit out rocks
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