woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
two words...techno handjob
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
