She's JV to your varsity
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize